Remember that time I pooped on a plane from Costa Rica to Nebraska?
But you don’t because you weren’t there. Unless you were the woman sitting next to me and in that case I am sorry.
~ to prep yourself for the story I want you to think about how long 60 minutes is ~
I am Virginia and I have felt embarrassed in my past.
I should have gotten up right away when I knew what was happening but I didn’t and then I sat there.
Doing nothing but breathing calmly in and out of my nose as I sat there in my seat thinking about what my body was feeling on the inside and I was weighting my pros and cons.
For about an hour.
Weighing my pros and cons until the cons started to overfill the pros shall we say and I decided to get up.
I had thought for a while - I won’t get up ever. I will die in this plane. And no one will know. - Because when you are sitting and breathing and doing nothing but paying attention to your body and your thoughts you get to create creative solutions for your quickly growing problems.
I did I made the decision about thirty minutes into the ordeal that I would get up and clean myself up and.
and I couldn’t figure out when the best time was so I just sat there.
In those green pants thinking about how absorbent my underwear and pants duo was and wishing I had a big old pad on or had at least made the decision to go to the bathroom well before this moment. But I didn’t.
I chose to sit and wait.
I’ve been told I use planning as a form of procrastination. And this is a keen example folks.
Maybe I could wait until absolutely everyone on the entire plane got off and then I could escorted gracefully to the local police station where they would book me for refusing to leave my seat to do pants complication.
And then I could clean myself up in peace.
But no, that’s too extreme. Too complicated. I wanted to get home. So
after an hour,
I got up. Slowly.
Tied an extra shirt thing around my waist and waddled as calmly as possible to not shift load and yet as efficiently I could because of spillage and then escaped into the tiny bathroom in the back of the plane.
[Big Sigh of Relief]
(magic ensues)
I now meander back to my seat in a full set of new clothes having discarded almost every piece of cotton in the trash. Now very calmly as though, nothing had happened, I cleaned up my airplane seat and said, “I’m so sorry” to the unfortunate lady soul forced to sit next to me and promptly went back to the bathroom without making eye contact.
Because there wasn’t anything I could do. What had happened had happened and I had made my choices and she probably would have made different ones for me but
She was very kind and said nothing. Thank goodness.
I would love to share even more embarrassing stories with you in person in one of my yoga classes!
Sign up for a retreat here!